I woke up this morning with an unusual song rattling around in my head. I have no idea why, but this is the song:
It was the chorus that I was remembering.
"A Noun is a Person, Place or Thing" first aired in 1973, though it played for years after that. Welcome to the 70s!
So... I turned 40 last week.
A friend of mine asked if I had been thinking about goals, and things I accomplished and want to accomplish. I brushed the question off. Logically, it's a year like any other year. It's like turning 39, only it's a year later. I don't want to make a big deal out of it. But yeah, I have been thinking about things, and realizing, hey, 40 years have gone by already. Perhaps I don't have all the time in the world, after all. My parents gave me a book, "The Big 40!", and it says that I'm now older than 58% of America. I'm among the older half of the country! And 50 is right around the corner!
It doesn't seem so long ago that I was playing with the other kids across the street from my grandparents' house. But I guess it was so long ago!
Oh well, enough rambling.
Well, they like to get you in a compromising position
Well, they like to get you there and smile in your face
Well, they think they're so cute when they've got you in that condition
Well, I think it's a total disgrace
And I say:
When I fight authority, authority always wins
When I fight authority, authority always wins
I've been doing it since I was a young kid and I come out grinnin'
When I fight authority, authority always wins
(Written and performed by John Mellencamp)
I received my black belt from American Taekwondo Association (ATA) Martial Arts in Anthem, Arizona in January 2009. I enjoyed the black belt classes even more than the color belt classes. I liked the new black belt form – so much, in fact, that I learned the whole form during my first black belt cycle, even though I was just required to learn half of the form. I was excited to learn some joint locks. Even the weapons form was okay, though weapons forms are not my favorite. I enjoyed class so much that I attended more classes during that 1st cycle as a black belt than any other cycle before.
I looked forward to the next cycle even more. We would be learning ground fighting, which could be useful. But more importantly, my wife, Kylie, was testing for her black belt. If she passed testing, we would both be black belts. I was really looking forward to working with her on the black belt material. It was my chance to help her for a change, since I started the black belt material a cycle earlier. Once she had her black belt, we planned to work with our oldest two kids to get their black belts.
Unfortunately, the Saturday of black belt testing is where our relationship with ATA Martial Arts in Anthem took a turn for the worse.
There were two incidents of concern. In the first, the owner and chief instructor of ATA Martial Arts in Anthem was waiting for the floor judges to organize board breaking stations for that part of the testing. There was no active testing in progress. The owner’s wife, the manager and program director of ATA Martial Arts, a1st degree black I’ll call ‘Kay’, felt that the children in the spectator area were being too loud, and came over to quiet them down. She ended up literally screaming at one of our kids.
My mother-in-law, who was standing right there, was taken aback and was shocked by Kay’s behavior. The kids in the spectator area were behind my mother-in-law, and she noted that a lot of the noise in her proximity was coming from directly in front of her -- from the black belt kids sitting on the mat awaiting the start of board breaks.
In any event, testing continued. Kylie had successfully tested for her black belt! After years of work, she made it, and she was very happy. Kylie’s happiness was short-lived. As we were getting ready to leave, Kay thrust a finger towards Kylie, and rudely told Kylie that she “needed to school her kids.”
Instead of Kylie being able to enjoy her accomplishment, she was instead thinking about Kay, and Kay’s unprofessional behavior. The two events became linked. Kylie was cheated out of her moment as a new black belt, unable to enjoy her accomplishment.
Kylie went to the school on Monday morning to talk to Kay about what had happened. The goal was to try to insure that the negative events of the Saturday before would not recur. Up until that conversation, the situation was completely salvageable. At the conclusion of Kylie’s meeting with Kay, Kylie called me, crying. Given how the conversation with Kay went, Kylie indicated that she would not return to the school. Under the circumstances, we did not feet comfortable bringing our kids back to the school, either.
I went back to the school on Thursday, and asked Kay to release us from our contract. Kay agreed to do so. Kay and I also talked, and there seemed to be a possibility that my family would not have to break ties with the school after all. Kay asked to speak to Kylie again. At the conclusion of our discussion, Kay asked whether she should go ahead and cancel our contract. Given Kay’s willingness to cancel the contract if we wished it, and my hope that we would not have to leave the school, I wanted to first see if things could be worked out.
Kylie and I went back to the school a few days later to speak with Kay. I had pretty high hopes. My conversation with Kay a few days earlier seemed productive. When Kylie and I met with Kay that day, the conversation was a lot different.
Kay was aloof. Kay was judgmental. Kay did not seem at all receptive to talking to Kylie or me. Kay kept repeating that if we left, there would be no hard feelings. Kay did not seem to care if we stayed or left. Kay’s demeanor was completely different with Kylie in the room. I was a little shocked.
Kylie and I discussed our latest conversation with Kay and the situation in general. It became apparent that we needed to leave the school. Kylie was not comfortable going back to the school. We didn’t want to bring the kids back. I certainly didn’t like how Kay treated my wife or kids. After discussing the matter, we decided that we should ask Kay to cancel the contract. I called Kay that evening, and she agreed to do so.
Later that evening, Kay sent an email to Kylie stating that she would not release us from our contract as she had previously committed. Kylie posted a couple of private comments on Facebook that were shared with Kay. Kay accused Kylie of slander, and elected to use that as justification for her decision to break her word to let us out of the contract. Kylie’s comments were no big deal, which leads me to believe that Kay was just using the Facebook comments as a pretext to break her word, when it became apparent that we did not want to come back to the school. In other words, it looks like the willingness to cancel our contract was just a ploy.
So, where does that leave us? We are paying on a $360 a month contract to a Taekwondo school that my wife and kids will no longer attend, due to Kay’s unprofessional, demeaning, and rude behavior.
I’ve kept quiet up until now. In the beginning, it was my (naïve) hope that we could come an understanding, and me and my family would be able to go back to classes. With that hope dashed, I wanted out. I did not want to make a big deal out of it, make waves, or air dirty laundry. Even after Kay indicated that she would not let us out of the contract as she said she would, I remained silent. I hoped that she would reconsider her position. I had a great deal of goodwill for the school, having attended and enjoyed classes for the past couple of years.
I’m stuck, but the least I can do is share my experiences with you, in the hopes that you don’t get caught in a similar situation.
Please consider the following when selecting a martial arts school:
It has been months since I've posted - not since I announced that I had permission to test for my first degree black belt in Taekwondo back in January.
Well, I passed!
And Kylie tested for her black belt. And she passed!
Life has been a little hazy since that point. It seems like I've been busy all the gosh darn time, but I can't tell you what I've spent all my time on. It just seems like there hasn't been any time, and I've been feeling worn out. Draggy. Listless.
Time flying by, and that worn out feeling may just be symptoms of stress and being a bit down. There's a lot going on that isn't so great. Nothing serious, just a bunch of things that have been a drain on me when added together.
Kylie has been having pretty much constant headaches that have been getting progressively worse, and she hasn't been sleeping well. We had a falling out with one of the owners of our Taekwondo school, and we have not taken classes since. I missed a 5K race I had registered for, and only ran seldom after that. I went through a stressful stretch at work.
Then again, at least I have a job.
There's a million positives in my life. It's funny that the bad stuff gets so much of the screen time in the movie of my life.
If I didn't have a wonderful wife and children, I have no idea where I'd be, but I don't think I'd like it.
I'm feeling better.
I'm finished waiting.
It's time for action.
I had lunch with my mom and grandma. It's been weeks since I last saw them.
I even went running today. I was gasping and wheezing, but I did it! Now where's that oxygen tank...?
My memory lately is such that though lots of things have been going on, remembering them now is another matter.
So, in no particular order:
Nathan has the best handwriting out of all our kids (taking age into account)!
Brandon's cursive is the best out of all the kids!
The kids have better handwriting than I do!
Kessa joined a cheer squad!
Nathan played a season of soccer!
Ryan and his friends talk a LOT about the Lego Star Wars Wii game!
Nathan did his speaking part in the school assembly very well today!
Ryan waved to us at Nathan's school assembly today!
Kessa shared part of her sausage biscuit this morning!
No X-men movie for us tonight!
Kylie performed her made-up form during Taekwondo black belt testing to music!
Our dog Penny got out of the backyard and brought decorative horse bones from a neighbor's yard back into our yard!
Brandon is almost exactly the same height as Ryan!
The height thing has caused some angst and strife!
I watched the boys cook Ewoks on the grill in the Star Wars Legos Wii game!
I took nearly 500 pictures at Kylie's black belt testing!
Kylie took pictures of my/our extended family!
We had a $400+ cell phone bill!
We had a baby!
A bouncing baby new TV!
You get the idea.
